One morning, like every weekdays, I woke up to my routine.
The kids have bathed and dressed.
In the kitchen I prepared their snacks and the breakfast is served.
One last touch, checking bags, clean faces and then the morning prayer before leaving for school.
All was natural until came my son with this sudden and unsuspected question:
“Tell me mommy, were you and daddy married before?”
I, for seconds asked myself why this now? He is just a small boy!
Then with a smile and holding is hands; I said “No baby, daddy and I were not married.”
He added with this mysterious tone;
So why do we call him our dad?
That is where all in me stopped. Troubled, I tried to form in my head an appropriate answer to his question.
Look baby, daddy is your father because we were together for a longtime, and we were living in the same house, that’s the time your sister and you were born; unfortunately we did not get married like you see in church and got separated later after you were born.
He looked at me with a smile; saying:
Is it like being boyfriend and girlfriend?
Were you two dating?
I had to say YES; even if deep in me I wished I could say no, but there is no other answer to it, I wasn’t married when I had my children. And I can’t see how explaining cohabitation will help in this matter.
He then, hugged me and said with his angel voice;
That is why he is our daddy.
I felt my heart so heavy, at that moment tears moved in my eyes, I hold him tight not willing to let him see me crying.
A couple of minutes, then it was time to leave, I went downstairs with them; a kiss to everyone then they left for school.
As much as I want to be strong, there are times when I will have to answer to questions that could break my heart.
I see in this that children observe and question themselves regarding their family status , and my son, that little man who is turning 7 years old, so loving and caring is becoming curious and in need of clarifications.
It hurts sometimes, but I am grateful that he understood and I want to believe that the matter doesn’t hurt him.
We sometimes hide the truth or avoid giving details to our children believing that we are protecting their heart and we try to get a balance into their emotions. But, there will come a time where they will somehow find out the truth and at that exact moment we may look bad in their eyes or they will sympathize with us.
I may not know everything and was surely not prepared to be a single mom but the need to protect my children and to provide a safe, peaceful and joyful environment is making me work extra miles to achieve a good emotional balance for my little ones.
I am forever grateful to the almighty God for the strength and ability given me to be a mother.
There is still a long way to go but, i am proud of what have been achieved so far.
Kisses and Love to all the single Parents who struggle time to time but move forwards with a positive attitude.